Alan Rickman- Christmas Icon?

Elizabeth here, filling in for my dad on some of these obituaries. Bear with me, this is my first one. I was watching my favorite Christmas movie Die Hard this year when I realized, we never put Hans Gruber in the pool! And then I watched my other favorite Christmas movie, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (there’s a Christmas scene), and realized we didn’t put Severus Snape in the pool either! Seeing as they’re played by the same actor, here we are with Alan Rickman’s obituary. He died on January 14 at age 69 of pancreatic cancer. He was one of the first big deaths in a year full of them, and we’ve been reeling from the loss ever since.

Hans Gruber was actually his first film role, and he was offered the part after only 2 days in Los Angeles. For someone who broke into the movie industry at the young age of 41, he’s had his fair share of memorable roles: Hans Gruber, the Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Colonel Brandon in Sense & Sensibility, and, of course, Severus Snape in the Harry Potter series. I haven’t even mentioned his stage career, but he was a classically trained Shakespearean actor. Beloved by many of all generations, his death was a sad start to the year. How long will he be missed? Always.

Ed. Note – Hi Elizabeth – Thank you for filling in. You have a real future in obituaries. I will trust your judgment that Rickman’s body of work is sufficient. We are putting him in as a 10 Seed and dropping Doris Roberts down to 11. Also, Madeleine and Charmian, classic actresses from a bygone era will have to slip to the KCNIT. It kills me to do it, but they will have to take solace in the fact they made it to December 27.

RIP Abe Vigoda – The Godfather of the “Dead or Alive Game”

Abe Vigoda died on January 26th at the age of 94. It took eleven months to write his obituary because to be honest there was no way to be sure he was A. already dead for twenty years or B. still not dead and this was part of the elaborate hoax that Abe Vigoda died twenty years ago.

The bottom line is Abe had two great roles – Tessio the mob boss in the Godfather and as Fish on Barney Miller. He also had scene stealing scenes in the movie “Look who’s Talking”

Although he was most famous for playing an Italian mobster, Vigoda was Jewish. Since Vigoda must be in the pool, we will move Jewish superstars Fyvish Finkel and Marvin Kaplan to the KCNIT and slot Abe in as a thirteen seed.

 

 

RIP George Michael – It was his Last Christmas

So I just sat down for a delicious Christmas dinner of lamb and yam, when “Bam!” the news came over Twitter that George Michael has “passed away peacefully at his home” at the age of 53. At first I thought I was being scammed but soon the tributes were coming in from every corner of the music world. I slammed my fist on the table and said “Damn! another iconic death in the music category”

The cause of death was heart failure although his electrocardiogram and his diaphragm were both ok. I sent my condolences via telegram.

It’s been a terrible year for iconic musicians. I can’t wait for 2017. So where do we put this superstar who had a wonderful solo career and was part of that other band who’s name escapes me (I am kind of broken up). Of course George Michael is in the pool. In fact, we are putting him in as a three seed, dropping Glen Frey down to four. After all, can you name all the Eagles? Of course not. George Michael, we are sad to see you go-go.

 

RIP Zsa Zsa Gabor – Socialite

Zsa Zsa Gabor the world’s oldest giant panda living in captivity died yesterday at the age of 38. The cause of death was high blood pressure, arthritis and cataracts.

Ooops sorry that was Jia Jia. Zsa Zsa was the world’s oldest celebrity living in captivity. She died yesterday a the age of 99. The cause of death was high blood pressure, arthritis and cataracts.

Zsa Zsa was one of three sisters who along with their dominating mother became famous for being famous. More or less they were the blue print for the Kardashians -proving once again that history repeats itself. You probably remember Eva, star of Green Acres. Can you name the third sister?

Zsa Zsa was not much of an actress. Other than playing Minerva in the very last Batman episode ever aired, what else was she famous for? Well she slapped a cop in 1989. And who can forget her nine marriages? She married Paris Hilton’s grandfather and the guy who designed the Barbie doll for Mattel. The last guy she married has been on the job for 30 years. He deserves a pair of Yeezys.

Being a shameless publicity hound does have its advantages. It gets her in the pool. Robert Vaughn is out! Welcome aboard Zsa Zsa!

RIP Esther Wilkins – She wrote the book on Dental Hygiene

Seriously she did. It’s called “Clinical Practice of the Dental Hygienist”and it’s in it’s 12th edition. Look it up on Amazon. 

Before she published the first edition back in 1960, there was no such thing as standard dental hygiene which is remarkable if you think about it.

Well Esther didn’t rest on her laurels. She also invented the Wilkins/Tufts Explorer. In case you don’t know what that is, here is a picture which you may recognize if you have ever been to a dentist

Somehow I cannot believe this is the actual name of this thing. “Explorer?” No wonder people hate the dentist.

However, people loved Esther, who died this week at the age of 100. Here is a testimonial from a colleague – “Esther was known for the 12 editions of her textbook, but also for her wit, humor, and love of dancing and drinking beer!” said Maria Perno Goldie, RDH, a well-known author and former ADHA president. “She is known as the godmother of dental hygiene, and loved to focus on prevention. A role model, mentor, and friend, Dr. Wilkins will be missed by many. RIP Esther, here’s to you and to a life well lived ”

The bracket is full but Esther is not to be denied. Kibble and Henderson, both legends in the own right have to go to the KCNIT. Esther is in at 13 Here is Esther smiling at age 96. I wonder if those are her teeth.

RIP Keith Emerson and Greg Lake -Carl Palmer is a Lucky Man

If you were a fan of 1970’s Progressive Rock, you probably loved Emerson Lake and Palmer. Mostly they were pretentious blow hards but they did have two hits that are staples of Classic Rock — Lucky Man and Karn Evil 9.

Unfortunately, Keith Emerson committed suicide earlier this year at age 71 and Greg Lake died of cancer last week at the age of 69. The third member – Carl Palmer – believes namesake Arnold Palmer will take his place in the reunion tour being scheduled in heaven as we speak. At least he hopes so.

For their contributions to Prog Rock and their two hits, they will slide in as a combined 12 seed. Leonard Cohen, who only had one hit, drops to the KCNIT

 

RIP Doris Roberts – aka Marie Romano

Doris Roberts, who had a relatively long career playing in things you never heard of, died earlier this year at the age of 90. If you truly never heard of her, she wouldn’t be in the pool. Fortunately, she played Marie Romano, the mother of Ray and the mother in law of Debra in the hit TV Sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond.

It was an iconic role. It is very hard to play a beloved character who at the same time is a bit of a passive aggressive jerk. Doris was very good at it though. By the way, I was shocked she was 90. That means she was in her 80’s when the show ended. She looked years younger than I would have guessed.

So Doris, despite being a one hit wonder of sorts, is going to be in the pool. She is a 9 seed. Robert Vaughn drops from 9 to 14. Anton Yelchin (Chekov in the Star Trek reboot) drops to the KCNIT. Much like Kimbo Slice, Yelchin’s tragic death is offset by his relative lack of historical heft.

In other news, I got my Sports Illustrated today and on page 125 they had the following advertisement for TIME’s Tribute to the Stars We Lost

I have three comments

1. I love Doris Roberts but she doesn’t belong on this page
2. Everyone else on this page is either a 1 or 2 seed in my pool. I have my finger on the pulse of American Celebrity.
3. I have been making tributes to the stars we lost for months. I can do this!

RIP Patty Duke – Have you ever heard of sepsis?

Patty Duke, who’s real first name was Anna Marie , and was the star of the 1960’s show that bore her name (Patty, not Anna Marie) died of Sepsis at the age of 69. She was deceptively famous. She won an Oscar at age 16 for playing Helen Keller in the movie The Miracle Worker. She was married to Gomez Addams.

But none of that matters as much as her starring in the dual role as Patricia “Patty” Lane, a fun-loving American teenager who occasionally got into minor trouble at school and home and her “prim and proper” “identical cousin” from Scotland, Catherine “Cathy” Lane on the hit TV show The Patty Duke Show. Her on-screen father, William Schallert died six weeks after Patty and is already in the pool. Her onscreen boyfriend Eddie Applegate died in October and I didn’t give him the time of day. Nevertheless, it’s been a bad bad year for veterans of the Patty Duke Show. And since you know you want to hear it – here is the theme song. Hope it sticks in your head all day.

On a more serious note, she was one of the first celebrities to openly discuss bi-polar and depression disorders bringing both into the American consciousness. She may wind up doing the same from her death from Sepsis.

All in all, Patty Duke had a fascinating life. She is a four seed. Everyone drops down a notch until we get to #10. Joseph Mascolo, who only showed up in the pool last week, has to drop to the KCNIT.

 

 

RIP Craig Sager – Is this a bigger tragedy than John Saunders dying?

I am going to say yes, but barely. Sager was a dapper dresser; not everyone can wear his wardrobe without a hint of irony Sadly, Sage passed away today after a long battle with Leukemia at the age of 65. He worked pretty much until the end. In a world where sideline reporters come and go,  Sager was on the job for over  30 years mostly as a basketball reporter on TNT but also as a baseball and Olympic Games reporter as well. Did you know he was on the field trying to get an interview when Hank Aaron hit his 715th home run. Look at the 3:26 mark. Is that Sager?

Craig Sager has caused me to make changes to the sports bracket. Nate Thurmond – Top 50 NBA star, move up to 7. Craig Sager slides in at 9. Rick McLeish (who started as a 4 seed back in May drops from 7 to 11. Everyone moves down a notch until you reach Kimbo Slice. Kimbo, unfortunately, has to move to the KCNIT. The death pool is tough and Slice while he was memorable just doesnt have the resume some of these other guys have. I am sorry to seem him go.

RIP Bernard Fox – Calling Dr. Bombay!

Emergency! Come right away! Sadly, Dr. Bombay will no longer be making house calls. The befuddled Bewitched co-star passed away of heart failure at the age of 89. Fox had a mustache  I could only dream about pulling off. In addition to his Bewitched role, he was also Colonel Crittendon the befuddled RAF pilot on the series Hogan’s Heroes. Said his daughter Amanda, He was a wonderful father, as sweet and befuddled in real life as he was on TV.” He did other things (Columbo!) as well as the 1997 Titanic movie and the original “A Night to Remember”. In the 1957 original he played the guy who said “Icebergs dead ahead, sir”.

I loved Bernard Fox for his accent, his mustache and his recognizability (if that’s a word). More importantly he has indirectly worked his way into our culture. Have you ever used an Amazon Echo? Swap the name “Alexa” for “Dr. Bombay”. Alexa will give you the same sweet and befuddled answers Dr. Bombay was giving Samantha Stevens 50 years ago. For that alone Bernard Fox deserves to be in the pool.